March 1998 1st 7th
February 1998 1st 15th 22nd
January 1998 3rd 11th 18th 25th
December 1997 1st 7th 13th 20th and 27th
November 1997 23rd 16th 9th 1st
October 1997 26th 19th 12th 5th
To get away from the noise. A nervous wreck. When you throw the accordion in the dumpster and it lands on the
banjo.
No one cries when you cut up an
accordion. The singer says, "Wow! How do you expect me to do all that?"
The pianist says: "Well, that�s what you did last
time."
James Fenemore Cooper wrote a seldom reprinted biography of Santa Claus,
Dead people have a picnic in the woods and are healed by a guy with a
chainsaw.
Give 'em sheet music.
The Winner.
Table Of
Contents
Back To Joke Of The
Week
March 7th
Top
March 1st
Top
Top
February 15th
Top
February 1st
A man went to the
doctor and had some tests done. The doctor came in and said, "Well, I�ve
got good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable
brain tumor. However, the good news is our hospital has just been certified
to do complete brain transplants. Now, there has just been an accident right
out front. A young couple was killed and you can have whichever brain you
would like." The doctor, knowing that in these days of managed care, price is
often an issue in making health care decisions, went on to bring up relative
costs. "The man�s brain is $100,000 and the woman�s brain is $30,000."
The patient could not help but ask, "Why
such a large price difference between the male and the female brain?
The doctor replied, "The female brain is
used."
Top
January 25th
A state trooper was driving down the
highway. He saw a truck pull over to the side of the road. As he was
watching, the driver got out of the truck, walked around to the side of the
truck and banged on it several times. The trooper, watching this go on,
thought it was odd, but let it pass. Five miles down the road, he saw the
trucker stop, get out and bang the truck again, then get back in the truck
and drive off. When this happened a third time after five more miles, the
trooper couldn't stand wondering what that trucker driver was doing anymore,
so he pulled over behind the truck, and went up to the driver and asked why
he kept banging the truck. The trucker replied, "The load limit on this road
is ten tons, and I have fifteen tons of parakeets in there, so I always have
to keep some of them flying around."
Top
January 18th
Top
January 11th
NASA's planning to put a colony on the
Moon. They're planning for homes, mines, hydroponic farms, and even a new
restaurant. But I don't really think the restaurant is a good idea. It
won't have an atmosphere.
Top
January 3rd
A pianist and singer are rehearsing "Autumn
Leaves" for a concert. The pianist says, "OK. we�ll start in G minor, then on
the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When we get to the bridge,
modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the
last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor."
Top
December 20th and 27th
What does Santa Claus call
an uncooperative reindeer?
Venison.
The Deer Sleigh-er.
A man had an old tent, and he was trying to decide whether to
take it on a camping trip, or leave it behind and buy a new one.
He went back and forth on the subject, trying to figure out what he
should do. Finally, he went to his wife and asked her, "Should old,
and quaint tents be forgot?"
Top
December 13th
Found at
Cow
Approved Jokes - Christmas. The humor pages are PG and up with a
smattering of G rated jokes.
Who's there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna partidge in a pear tree.
Top
December 7th
Retold by
[email protected] in rec.music.folk, you can find the original post in
Deja
News.
Top
December 1st
Top
November 23rd,
A snail got beat up by two turtles.
When he went to the police they asked him, "Did you get a good look at the
turtles that beat you up?"
Top
November 16th,
An atom walked into a bar, and he was very
depressed. The barman asked why, and the atom told him that he'd lost one
of his electrons. The barman asked "Are you sure?" The atom replied,
"I'm positive."
Top
What do you get when you play a slasher
movie backwards?
Top
Cabinet makers are shelfish people.
Top
October 26th,
Top
October 19th,
Top
October 12th,
Top
October 5th,
But he came right back because he found out he would have to be
defurred.
Top
*There is no joke for that week, the webmaster was at a band engagement.
